sock monkey sweaters

its been a long time since i last wrote anything
yes, like 3 months?
how time flies. on one hand, it only feels like yesterday since i made the all day drive to bring home Penny. (middle dog) on the other hand, its hard to imagine what life was like with out her. as i type shes curled up next to me. Big dog at my feet. the little ones down stairs with daddy watching football, altho its only a matter of time until she realises shes the only one down there still and makes her way up the stairs and jumps into bed with the rest of us. not a single dog bed has been sold, that makes me sad. but, i also have only been advertising them on facebook, and having my fingers crossed that some of my friends would buy them, or would hook me up with a friend of theirs, who wanted to buy. SO i have a few options, take them down, and try to get someone to sell them on comission, or, make a few more and rent a booth at the merchant market. not sure what that costs. things to look into in the new year. the girls have been treated my last 2 trips to the pet supply store, with sweaters and toys. i love spoiling them. what mother doesnt like to spoil her kids/fur kids once in a while ;) some of the spoilings have included, leopard print dresses, sock monkey sweaters, and a lightening bolt swear for little dog, as it seemed fitting.

now that its december, winter is upon up. trips outside are short and sweet, and theres  been more shit in the house then usual. neked dogs dont like the snow *apparently*. i  cant blame them. i wouldnt want to run outside naked just to shit.

we had a visit from some of my friends back home in the hammer. they brought their dog charley. big dog aka the racist, HATED him. hes black and fluffy and adorable,and she went nuts every time he even looked at her.

have you ever met a dog that not only will allow you to clean its cuticles, but acctually enjoys it? (insert drum roll) i have that dog. lil pickle (middle dog) loves it. image having a crazy stressfull week, and what the bliss would be like going and having your nails done. your eyes would close most of the way, mind and body sort of in limbo, not awake, not asleep, just ... happy. THATS WHAT SHE DOES. it cracks me up. she just sits there, little paw in my hand, and nodds off into lala land while i scrape the dirt from under her nail bed. i swear, it you were to try attempt this with iether of the other dogs, youd get your fingers bitten off. not midde dog. she loves a 'good human style' pampering.

lastly, dont mind me, i just like to sit at the table ... i am people you know.

Good Dogs

With my finally getting a job, i havent had much time to spend on the internet. BUT some updates are: my dog bed making buinsess is up and running, slowly. i have a few beds made, and a bunch in the design process. Recycling old end tables into fancy lil dog beds, and old suitcases into traveling dog beds. FUN. Now i just need to sell some, so i can make more :)

The girls have been really good, and are adjusting to my not being home constantly. Fewer accidents are happening in the house, they wait for daddy to come home and let them out. At first, it was like i put them in my room, shut the door, they'd wait till they heard the big door close and lock ' well thats it, shes not coming back ' and shit EVERYWHERE. but that has stopped :)

Small dog went into heat around thanksgiving weekend. So, her play date with her cousin whom also isnt fixed was a supervised , doggie diaper wearing play date. She wasnt impressed, wanted to wrestle with him so bad, but all he wanted to do was stick his nose in her ......
Big dog and middle dog took turns humping little dog. Which really, is wierd, as all 3 are females. But, humping happend. Arguments happened over whos turn it was to hump, arguements happened over one being impatient for her turn to hump. Little dog didnt care whoooooooooo was humping, just as long as some one was. LMAO. Clowns.

Heats over with, and fall has arrived, in full force. Sweaters and 4 legged jammies have been busted out. Middle dog gets so excited at the sight of jammies, and sweaters. She even assists in the dressing process.  Pops her wee head through the neck hole, sits up on her bum, her front legs up and  ready to be poped into sleeves, and then rolls backwards onto her back like a little baby so i can pop her back legs in. shes HILARIOUS. Little dog HATES her jammies, and its a fight.  Once shes in them, she mopes. Big dog is ambivelant.

I decided the other day I was going to be brave, and attempt to walk all 3 at the same time. It was a gorgeous day, 22 degrees , sunny and warm. So off we went. As per the old routine, small dogs lead in my right hand, big dogs in the left. The question was... what do i do with middle dog. Her leads longer then the others, so i ran it through my belt loops, attaching her to me..... worked like a charm!! She walked along side me, or a wee bit behind me, the whole way. Big dog still has a pulling problem .... new no-pull harness will be ordered soon! Other wise though, it went really well, and once this AWEFUL storm blows over, the next nicer day we have, we'll do it again :)

Thats all the updates i can think of .... I'll write some more when theres something to say .... wich could be at any time really, they are clowns after all

side project :

AND NOW PRESENTING : MOTHER OF DOGS UP CYCLED DOG STUFF!!

beds made from up cycled end and coffee tables, vintage suitecases/train cases

dog clothes made from up cycled t-shirts / human clothes will be coming soon also :)

if you have facebook, give us a like ;)

https://www.facebook.com/motherofdogs3#!/motherofdogs3

still feeling guitly, but getting over it

i am feeling better today, enough that i can now share what i did, to poor middle dog. some of you have seen on fb, and made comments, and honestly, made me feel so much better. i still feel bad though.

so on monday night, my fiance came home, and went up, had his shower got changed and asked me if our bed room smelled funky. YES!! it smells weird in there! so we agreed in the morning, my task was to clean, do laundry and fix that aweful funk. while trying to flip the matress and change sheets , i decided the crates (that are in a row beside my side of the bed) werent in a good position, small dogs crate was away from the others, and middle dogs was too far into the corner that fiance couldnt open his half of the closet properly , so i decided a rearrange was needed. i pullled the crates out, to find POOP all down the wall in the corner. i thought it was odd, that middle dog didnt get the runs or anything, with changing over to new kibbles right away. OH BUT SHE DID! in her crate! and i didnt notice it, becuase her beds very dark, and the room isnt very well lit. i pulled her bed out of her crate and it was encrusted in poop. and me, worst mother of the year, had been making her sleep on a shit encusted pillow, for about a week. A-HOLE!! she saw me pull her bed out, and took off down the hall and cowered in a corner. i crawled over to her, and cried my eyes out that shes not introuble, and how sorry i am. its mummys fault. i went out later and got tht things i needed to make her a new bed. cleaned out all the poop. and now she has a nice, clean crate, and brand new bed in it, all poop free. i am still pretty pissed at my self for not checking her crate. but she seems to be over it, so im working to get over it too. its over. all is clean. my poor little pupper.

Official Chinese Crested Butt Warmer

dogs are silly. cresties are no exception. they are silly little beans, full of clown like behaviour. they are little shit disturbers, theives of items (you dont want them to have) from coffee tables, laundry hampers, your dinner plate. most of all, they are 'velcro dogs' where you are, they want to be. what you are doing, the want to do. cats, im told, can be much the same, should the mood strike them. i have had a kittie for the last 8 years. shes a wonderful, bitchy little creature, and i lover her dearly. and i have never used the bathroom alone, since 2004. little dog, until middle dog came home, has been the most attached to me. she follows me around the house. she follows me into the bathroom, just to supervise you know? make sure i manage things ok. she is also , my butt warmer. any time and any where i lay on my stomach : bam. there she is. she lays down on my butt. to keep it warm? it always makes me laugh.

make me out to be a liar

facebook, is my first go-to for rants about small dogs mischievious endevours. only becuse my blackberry is always within fingers reach, and i can instantly post into facebook and twitter from it. and so, pictures of things that have been destroyed get posted. my status gets updated with rants about her being a jack ass and driving me up the wall. friends/family read this posts, and see the pictures. then they come over, or i take her out somewhere with me, and shes good as gold. and im always being told 'i cant belive you would post such rubbish. how could anything this sweet and this cute have such a rein of terror. shes an angel'

no. shes not. shes the devil, dressed as a cute little dog, with a very sweet face, who is cunning, and destructive. she annoys the cat, screams at the window - at nothing. and she somehow pulls my underware from the hamper, presents it to a room full of people, then goes to town humping said underware in the middle of the room for all to see. dont let the precious little face fool you. shes the devil.

BEAMING dog mother of 3 + cat

everything is going so well in the terms of adding a new pack member to the group. everyones getting in on snuggles, enjoying solo time, treat time, play out side time. middle dog, is **wonderful** a sweet, sensitive little poppit, who follows me around like a little shadow. when i talk to her, her little tail pops out from under her and waggs. no snarling or growling from big dog. its funny, not so much funny 'haha' , more funny strange, that cresties are kind of, well, partial to other cresties. when my brother in law bring his dog over, who a pug-beagle mix, the cat takes off and hides.... big dog put on the BIGGEST attitude. she hates him! i know of people, who have cc's and they have other breeds in their packs. theres always an adjustment period. cc's however, give them 10 - 15 mintues, and the chaos of meeting a new dog is over, and they can co-exist peacefully. their breed-specific-ness amuses me. that being said, big dog, not only is she breed specific, shes also RACIST!! that was an experience i will never forget. we went to visit my breeder when we - i - decided she needed a puppy friend. amongst the little little dog came from, there were some BEAUTFUL powder puffs, whos colourings were almost brindle. there where white puppies, and black puppies. my breeder had sent me pictures, so id have an idea, before going to see them ... i kinda had my heart set on this wee lil black puppy, who was so hairless, he may as well had been an american hairless terrier or a Xoloitzcuintli. we arrive, and say our hellos, then my breeder goes and gets the puppies. i held the little black puppy out to her, she let out a tiny snarl, turned her nose up and walked away !!  couldnt believe it. my dogs a racist! with my fiance being a ginger, he wanted to see the ginger puppy my breeder told us about. she brings out the ginger puppy. big dog comes over, takes a sniff, gives her a lick as if to say, this one will do, now can we please get the hell out of here?

my dogs make me laugh. every day. and now that we have the final addition, im stuck. on cloud nine, i may never come down. and im totally fine with that!

insanity takes hold, im now a dog mother of 3 +cat

its happened. yesterday, i made the 2.5 hour drive (each way) to pick up middle dog. shes GORGEOUS. and so sweet. shes got these ears, one up one down. i have always wanted a dog with these ears, as every time a dog with these ears looks at me, one up one down, my heart just melts. and i got a little history lesson.  the lady whom i get my dogs from, got big dog and middle dog at the same time (i adopted my very first crestie, big dog when she was just shy of 2 years old) so the 2 of them actually grew up together. middle dog used to have 2 ears that stood right up, just like big dog. breeder lady came home from work one day, to find one of middle dogs ears broken. shes pretty sure that big dog did it, playing, while she was at work. its funny , when you ask big dog 'did you break your sisters ear?' she gives you the same sly look that a child would give you ' i dont know what your taking about' but it clearly says 'LIES' across her forehead. id bet the last $5 to my name, that yes, big dog did infact break middle dogs ear when they were little.

theres no denying that she belongs. we went out for a little walk last night, and just like me, shes a bit on the jumpy side, startles easliy. she was SO focused on a guy walking down the side walk she walked face first into, yup a tree. shes not too sure about her new daddy yet, and was watching him in the kitchen. when he (not intnetionally) moved towards her, she went to turn and walk away..... so busy watching him and not where she was going, turned face first.... into the fridge. yup. her and i ? clearly soul mates.

i must be crazy

big dog is gulping down my coffee, little dog is ontop of the kitchen table terrorizing the cat and i am on the phone making arrangements to pick up our newest eddition to the family ... another dog. i must be insaine... or a total sucker for their sweet little faces. or both? i dont know. thats for my shrink to decide.  this new addition will be the monkey in the middle. the medium dog. 'dog m' i think will be her blog name. she is small dogs biological mother. and big dogs bff , from back in the day before she was mine. so really, shes already part of the family. thankfully, i am already prepared. just need some bleech to sanitize a hand-me-down crate. and BAM. all ready. beds, clothes, leashes collars, i've got it all. mainly becuase big dog grew out of a bunch of stuff that i bought for her when i first got her, and little dog refused to grow up into any of it. BUT. as they say, everything happens for a reason . as i am debating the best way of introducing the dogs to eachother, and getting the new pack member settled in, still making it clear: MUMS the pack leader, MUMS the boss, MUM CONTROLS THE FOOD... small dog is down from the table, and up in the cat tree growling (at nothing) out the front window. whered i put my coffee ? thank you big dog. its SPOTLESS. youd never know theres was coffee in there. oh look, small dogs humping my underware in the middle of the living room.

mother of dogs, i am crazy ; crazy for cresteds!!

Fact : coffee is awesome

any one  knows me at all, knows that i am a full on coffee junkie. i love coffee. i drink, sleep , poop, shop, thinking about coffee. i love coffee. APARENTLY big dog likes coffee too. she likes it so much, she feels the need to share - my coffee. it only takes a second. a split second. turn around and answer the phone, i dare you! you will find her eye balls deep in the mug of coffee, gulping it down. by the time i can shriek 'get the fuck away from my coffee dog!' said coffee is gone. and big dogs got an epic smirk on her face. its not like i can get mad, coffee is awesome, but seriously, if you like it so much, get a job and buy your own!

Mr. piggies lobodomy, and emergency stuffy first aide

dogs will be dogs. the devil will only be the devil. little dog decided that one of her toys, Mr. Piggie to be specific, needed to be lobodomized. i am sitting on the couch this morning. half alseep, as the girls woke me up at daft o'clock to pee and have breakfast. i hear some very excited shredding of fabric and stuffing. i open my eyes to see little dog, ripping out the stuffing of Mr. Piggie through a hole in his forhead. poor Mr. Piggie. 'Hey! what did he do to deserve that?' she stops killing, looks up at me for a moment, and then continues. aparently she had just had enough of his shit.

on occation, a toy needs first aide. sometimes even, emergency surgery. big dogs tootsie roll, for example, required some surgery yesterday. its the only toy she gives a shit about, and i have a mind to order 50 of them off the internet, as back ups. little dog has gotten her little razor teeth into tootsie roll a few times. and pulled out stuffing, and a sqeak maker. and so yesterday,  i ran said tootsie through the sewing machine (aka bam) patched some holes, and sewed shut the seam little dog had ripped open. the entire time i am sewing , big dog is under my feet, axiously waiting for her toy to be returned to her. once i was done with bam, i gave the toy to big dog, and she took off like a bat out of hell down the stairs to the couch. happy happy girl and now as i type, little dog has the tootsie, and is infact, humping it.

mmmmmmm dead stuff

the move into the new fancy house went well. however, we had not been here 24 hours yet, and big dog found a dead something in the back yard. clearly, there is no ignoring a dead thing. and so. she rolled in it. and after chasing her away from the offending dead thing, little dog decided she wanted to try and eat the dead thing. so i am running around the back yard like a mental person, trying to keep both dogs away from the dead thing. HA. a mothers revenge:

 both dogs got a bath AND had their teeth cleaned. muah hahaha!!

get off my sidewalk fucking cat!

Sometimes, i am truely convinced little dog barks, to hear the sound of her own voice. on occation, theres a person on the side walk. she of course, goes bat shit crazy. like a mother talking to a child, i try and tell her that, no, she does not infact own the side walk. im sure she understands me. she tilts her little head off to one side, her little beady eyes looking up at me, 'what ever do you mean mum? of COURSE we own the side walk! its in front of our house, thus we own it. and im a 5 pound gaurd dog, so its MY JOB to inform people to get the hell off our side walk.' she makes me giggle.

Yesterday, she figured out how to pop her head out under the curtains covering the side window, which, really is a pointless place for a window, as its 6 feet from the house nextdoor, over looking the TINY shared driveway between the 2 houses. very little sun light comes in through that window. however, the neighbour gets a decent amount through the window they have (facing mine) they have a BEAUTIFUL orange kitty who decided she wanted to lay in the sun puddle. who could blame her? little dog of course, noticed said kitty basking in her orange glory and again, went bat shit crazy. at this point i just stargted to laugh. i laughed and laughed until she noticed me laughing and stopping barking. running over to where i was curled up on the couch and pounced on my chest whimpering and whinning "how can you laugh at a time like this? theres a fucking CAT outside mum" was what her little face explained to me. i continued to laugh my ass off. as though insulted, that i thought this whole ordeal was hilarious, she put her self on a time out in her kennel. i continued to laugh.

DO NOT EAT THAT SHIT!

Big dog, is gross. Since the day we brought her home 3 or 4 years ago, the kittie litter box as been on lock down, like Fort Knox. She likes to eat shit. literally. shit/poop/fecies/what ever you'd like to call it. SHIT. She loves it. and it doesnt really matter who the shit belongs to, our cat, the neighbours cat, her own, little dog, another dog. really doesnt matter.
 There is nothing that quite compares to being on the phone with someone, missing little dogs cue that she needs to go outside, and her pooping on the floor. Now, becuase your on the phone, you dont notice that big dog is infact over at the puppy pad, inspecting the freshly produced brownie. I turn around (still on the phone) and with out thinking shout out " DO NOT EAT THAT SHIT!" thankfully, my future mother in law knows my dogs, and knows big dogs obbession with shit, and laughs. i quickly grab a poop bag, scoop up the offending matter (or desert if your big dog) and chuck it in the bin. This for some reason, sends little dog into a screaming tail chasing frenzy. **im still on the phone !!** i throw down some toys, and try to finnish my converstation with my mother in law. once the phone call is over, i grab a cup of coffee and plop down on the couch where i am quickly jumped on almost wearing said coffee. "LADIES PLEASE!" . and with that they each take a hip, and snuggle in and go to sleep. seriously? you couldnt *maybe* nap while i was on the fucking phone?! i look down to see the sweetest little faces both staring up at me, with love in their eyes, and shit on their breath.

why

i decided months ago, i wanted to start writing a blog about being a mother to dogs. there isnt a day that goes by that they do something to make me at least smile, if not laugh. for example. i have a dog, who loves all beverages, but mostly coffee. i cannot turn my back for a second with out turning back around to find here eyeballs deep in my coffee cup. some would find this annoying. some would get mad. i just laugh. 'get your face out of my coffee!' . or 'HEY! do you mind? ' she may not be a human, who replies with words, but her face says it all : no mum, i dont mind. this new dark roast you bought is lovely. shes 5. my first dog. and outside of my fiance, shes the love of my life.

dispte the fact that i am fully aware it was MY idea to get a puppy, i ask out loud almost daily 'whos idea was it to get a flippin puppy?'

it was mine. which i imagine, is why she chooses my shoes to chew , my carigans to hump, and  my underwear to theive from the hamper and carry around for company to see. at 15 months old, shes entered the 'wonderful world' of teenager, i may as well be living with a 14 year old girl. shes 5 lbs of attitude, arguing, selective hearing, and talks back. i am always being told how cute she is. yes im aware. 'oh i could just put her in my purse and steal her' yes. you could. but within 24 hours, you would bring her back i assure you.

as i am typing, i hear the familiar slurp slurp of a dogs tongue in a cup. i turn to find the big one drinking daddys ginger ale. now, the question is, do i remove the cup, and replace the ginger ale in a clean cup, or do i leave the little bit of soda in the cup, and let him drink it non the wiser that its got doggie back wash it ?

in the next 8 weeks there will be an addition to the pack. the birth mother of the little one is coming to live with us, as her new fur ever home. i am so excited. we'll have small, medium, and large. we are becoming a pack of 3, and i must work harder to hold my position as pack leader. i look forward to the challenge.

i should probably explain my dogs. they are chinese cresteds. now, YEEEEEEEEEES. i know i know . thats the breed that always wins the ugliest dog contests. if i had a dollar. NO $.25 for every person who felt the need to point this out to me, as if i didnt already know i would be rich. so rich that i could afford to pay a person to sit at a computer and type out the words that i dictate to them, while pacing a massive studio, in my silk house coat , smoking a pipe. I KNOW. what people dont realize is that a) i have the internet, this information is not new to me b) the chinese cresteds that are entered into those contests and win are usually a mix of chinese crested and something esle and c) they are usually old, and with health problems. thus causing droopy faces, tongues sticking out, wonky hair and those moles that people find so ugly. i for one, think they are adorable and i feel compelled to say loudly, EVERY ONE GETS OLD AND UGLY EVENTUALLY.

it is now time for me to get showered and ready for work. i must remove the dog on my lap, that much like velcro must be pulled away, even though its stuck there pretty good.